Dear Narcissistic Abuser…Thank you

Dear Narcissistic Abuser,

Having you in my life has been bittersweet. The appearance of your support and love was jolted from existence when I realized my success was YOUR time to shine, to build YOUR self-confidence. I felt like a “beard” or a tool to make you look better. While I have learned and experienced from you what love looks like, the aftermath and the cycle of love-bombing had me questioning. “Is this cycle of YOU worth it?” I watch you become threatened, decide to intimidate me, and then play like you’re the victim in so many situations. After I appease and console you, you revel in the ambiance of being right.

Remember all the time’s I dressed the way you wanted me to so that your friends would admire what you had? Only to later face you accusing, blaming, and shaming me because your friends found me attractive. Then you’d make a turnaround with your traditional love-bombing romantic gestures and long conversations about our future. The emotional connection was epic. That last episode was the last straw that broke the camels back. I told myself no more dealing with your rage because I spent time with my friends or revolving around you so that you’d feel like royalty.

Because of you, I have learned how to recognize the signs of a narcissistic abuser, what a healthy relationship looks like, how to be assertive and set boundaries, and be strategic in planning my safety. Your gaslighting exploitative behavior has catapulted me into survivor mode, to acceptance and now forgiveness. So, thank you, and I release you.

Elevated to Another Level


Abuse can be difficult to recognize because of its normalization and habitual patterns. Still, the signs and damage of a narcissist are even more challenging to identify. We live in an age where knowledge is easily accessible, and a plethora of supportive assistance is available. Educating yourself about abuse, taking action, and seeking supportive counseling from a licensed therapist will get you one step closer to living your better life. Turn your pain into your passion. Self- empowerment is your right to life.

Talking to someone in a group or indiivual setting helps the process healing and progressing. You will find related articles and community resources in this post. Let’s build a conversation and learn from each other. I’d like to know your thoughts about abuse and/or narcissistic abuse. Feel free to leave your comments below.

In good health,

Rhea Hill MS, LPC, NCC

Related Articles & Diagrams

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Signs of a Narcissistic Abuser

Diagram of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships

The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

Community Recources

The Family Place

Safe Haven

Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support

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